Quick message for online dating

12 Aug

I’m going to tell you something that you already know: dating is a frustrating process of trial and error.

For a lot of people, it’s a seemingly never-ending dance of missed connections, nights you’ll never get back again and wondering just what’s wrong with you and why everybody else seems to have it so much easier. In fact, for many people, online dating is such a trial that they give up early on.

” Remember what I said earlier about how we mentally filter people into “attractive” and “not attractive” when we meet them in person?

The lack of non-verbal cues that attract us to others don’t carry across in online dating and, as a result, you’ll occasionally come across people who seem great on paper but who don’t turn you on in person.

The first step to overcoming your frustration with online dating is to adjust your mindset and expectations accordingly.

Online dating takes a different attitude and skill-set than, say, making cold approaches at a bar or flirting with someone you met at a house party.

Having a second party tell vouch for you is more believable, but being able to On the other hand, if your friend tells you about the incredibly lavish party they went to at Nerd Love Manor (aka: the Gatsby Gambit) last weekend, you’re more inclined to believe that yes, I am a millionaire with a mansion and a yacht.

This means sending out more cold e-mails, dealing with more rejections and more dates that go nowhere. It’s part of the price of entry, and it’s better that adjust your expectations accordingly instead of dealing with the slow burn of “WHY WON’T THE MAGICAL BOX PROVIDE ME WITH SEX?When we meet somebody in person, we have hundreds of thousands of verbal and non-verbal clues to give us an intuitive grasp of who we’re talking to and whether or not we’re into them long before we go up and introduce ourselves.Everything from how they stand to how they talk, who they talk to, how they act around their friends, how they smell, even the pitch and timbre of their voice indicate whether or not we’re likely to have an initial attraction to them that would prompt us to make that all-important first approach.Many people treat online dating as though they were talking to somebody in a bar.In the physical world, unless you’re Jack Harkness, flirting with several different people simultaneously is a major faux-pas and likely to leave you going home alone – possibly wearing several drinks.